I've read every single reply on this thread multiple times. I don't think I've ever read anything more personally meaningful to me in my life. It means so much to me.

I'd really like to thank you guys for being so very supportive of me. It really encourages me to believe that I'm making the right decisions and helps me feel better about myself.

And thankyou for offering to accept the real me as part of the community. But I won't be part of it. It doesn't feel right, with everyone knowing about how much I misled them.

But I really, really do appreciate everything you guys have said. Again, thankyou. <3

I intend to make this my last post on the forum. A solid 5 years and 5 months as this identity, it's been a very memorable experience.

Goodbye, my beloved PPN community.

- Sean

Thanks loomy and darkgale

I share Kloud's opinion. Don't trust anyone on the internet too much.

Anyone can type a lie. There is no way I can give you a guarantee that I won't lie; it really is an issue of how much you decide to trust me, or anyone else.

I can say that I have no intention to lie about my identity ever again. But in someone else's eyes, that's just text. I can't prove that my real-life identity I've typed about on this thread isn't just a complete load of shit.

If you choose not to trust me, that's okay. After all, it's the internet. And you have very good reason to suspect everything I say is a lie.

But either way I won't be staying around for long, so I'm not really sure if whether I am trusted or not matters so much. It seems everyone else is believing my confession, and for that I am very grateful.

About you believing it may have been better if I quietly left, I have seriously considered that many times. But I had an urge to be honest with the community at least once in my life, and see what they'd say about it.

Having this thread bumped after everyone knows I lied about my age is a bit awkward, haha.

Wow, you've been around for a very long time haven't you? It's nice to know you haven't forgotten about the community after all these days

You guys don't understand how much your replies mean to me

Thankyou so much

Thankyou, everyone <3

Reading the replies really touched me; I started tearing up.

I was completely expecting posts showing outrage and it wasn't like that at all. I really didn't think the replies would be this nice and calm.

I really do appreciate the offers to accept me as the person that I really am. I really, really do.

But I don't feel comfortable starting up fresh, with this whole fake identity linked to me as 5 years of history.
Besides, not trying to be rude, but as Aryeh said, this place is a shadow of what it once was.

The very least I can do, is tell you guys a bit about who I really am.

I'm a male of asian descent. I've spent a lot of time disgusted at the fact that I'm asian and wishing I was white.

I'm 19 years old, I've repeated the last year of school, and as a result I've only just completed school 17 days ago unlike my peers.

I was addicted to marijuana for 2 years; I smoked it on a daily basis. I then cut down on it greatly and smoked it regularly but less of it, for about 8 more months.

As of 5 days ago, I've completely stopped it. I feel good about that.

I aim to study biomedical science in university, however the exam scores are coming out on Dec 15, so until then, there's not much that can be done other than waiting.

I've lived quite the unhealthy lifestyle, spending a lot of time smoking weed, eating junk and sitting in front of the computer. But I intend to make a change in that, as yesterday I signed up to a gym and had a workout, and intend to go there roughly every second day with my best friend, who used to be my stoner buddy for 2 years but is now clean.

Today I have my first shift at Subway in .. a very long time. I requested the managers to not give me any shifts while I have school on, and I'm done with school now, so yeah. Eat Fresh.

When I first joined PPN, I was suicidal as hell. I hated my life, and I convinced myself that if I die, I'll wake up in a better world. A world where I wasn't a stupid asian. That illusion really reinforced my motivation for suicide. PPN was amazing at distracting me from negative thoughts. It wasn't long after I re-registered on the site as this identity I decided to call "Miku" after the Vocaloid. I won't lie; pretending to be a girl was very, very fun. It was so much easier to attract positive attention. And feeling a false sense of femininity made me feel happy.

Conversing with people as Miku just made me happy and was a great distraction, so that motivated me to make an MSN account and begin talking to many members on a regular basis. I did that for a long time, and it made many nice memories.

Over the span of 3 years, I've gone from being an unhealthy drug addict with no motivation to achieve anything positive, both for my future and my mental and physical health and no intention to stop smoking, to a person that has that has a will to achieve a medical qualification, stay away from drugs and become more physically fit.

This community has made many memories that I hold dear to my heart. I remember spending many hours up at night posting in the Silent Room and waiting for the other Silent Room regulars to post. I remember Darkness Unleashed winning a Pokedollar lottery after he already had the most Pokedollars by far. I remember Splosh making everyone great signatures. I remember Wes and Kloud being lovey dovey. I remember the Xat boxes. I remember TimF putting up real-life rewards on the Shop. I remember chatting on the ToT frequently. I remember seeing everyone's faces on the "What Do You Look Like" thread. I remember my beloved Anime Thread. I remember..

Wes. Shihen. Aryeh. Lightball. Nico. Eric. Utau-chan. Yui-chan. Zohaib. Milky. Rey. Ian. James. Silver. Sakashi. Linear. Loomy. Aiden. Parrot. Triple Threat. Daniel. Rushy. Starrk. Kloud. DU. Emmy. Abby. Orgo. Fivex. Breakdanz. Kokecrack. Vlatko. Sammy. Sato. Sabo. Rosim. Avery. Splosh. Airavon. Lx7. Sho. Shroom. SirPlatina. Kinfin. Richie625. Unique. Magoo. Tobi. Cesar.

Oh and Blake Duncan.

I've never loved a community as much as I loved PPN. No other online community can even remotely compare with how much I loved it. I loved it so much.

If it's okay with you guys, I ask one favor. I want you guys to name any PPN regulars that I didn't list.

....

I read these posts. I thought about the forum inactivity. I thought about how this community is on its last legs. After 5 years, I think it's time.

I was never real.

I was just really lonely. I wanted to imagine myself living a life that I would have preferred. I wanted to see how it feels like to be treated like the identity I assumed. Because I knew that I was stuck in the body I was born in, and I didn't like it. I really didn't like it. I wanted to die and wake up as a person that I could love myself as. But I was too scared to kill myself. So I wanted to at least pretend that I have good self-esteem. It worked.

The PPN community helped me ignore reality. Every time I logged onto PPN, I assumed this identity like it was second nature. Every. Single. Day. And it made me feel better. It brushed away my depression like a magic wand as long as I was conversing with people. I made an MSN account for this identity and talked to many PPN members on a daily basis, and it was like I was actually Miku. I was Miku. And the friends I made were Miku's friends. I liked them and they seemed to like me. I was happy. But then there were problems that reminded me of my reality. People asked for pictures of me. I couldn't talk to them over the mic. And it was depressing, because I felt so attached to these people. But from day one, I had been lying to them. They weren't real friends. And gradually, over time, the community slowly died, and now this is where its at. The magic isn't working like it used to.

Eventually I started having dreams where I thought I was this identity, and so did others in my dream. But when I looked in the mirror, I saw my real-life body. You can't imagine how I felt. It's like my brain was telling me, that no matter hard I try, I can't escape my real identity. No matter how hard I ignore it, it's always there. Always. They taught me a lesson that it's not good to try and ignore who I am, and that I should be honest with myself and learn to deal with it directly.

I swear on my life I won't do this again. Whenever I register for anything on the Internet, it will be my real-life identity. I will make friends, with my real-life identity. Friends, that are actually friends with the real me. I will never try to ignore my identity. I may never grow to like it, but I will accept it as me and accept the fact that it will be like that until the day I die.

I'm just a sad, mentally unhealthy person. Please don't track me down and expose me. It'll be the last blow to my self-esteem. I just wanted to feel better about myself.

I was the sole user of the 8account. I was also Miku. I'm so sorry.

I think I'm done with this site, I'm really bored of it 

Knowing me I'll probably lurk but I don't know if I want to post anymoar

Friends are like potatoes. If you eat them, they die. o3o

I had a dream last night that I was watching the hottest pr0nz ever, and it was of a person I knew irl.

Then I woke up and realised I'll never see that pr0n again ;-;

also this is very very very cute =w=

If I feel hard enough, will the old PPN days come back?

*activates maximum overfeel*

That's because you're a giant otaku that has probably watched more than double the hentai I've ever seen ;_;

oo i think thats it ty lol

also

Anyone know what anime this is from? Because it's fucking cute <3