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Kinfin's Movie Reviews (Potential Spoilers)

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Author Topic: Kinfin's Movie Reviews (Potential Spoilers)  (Read 246 times)
The Lord of the Sands
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« on: May 30, 2014, 12:15:16 am »

After by boss and Co Workers heckling me for weeks on end, I finally decided to Red Box Frozen. The acclaimed Disney Movie that everyone was having an absolute orgasm over. The one with the stupid Snowman on all the commercials. I went into this movie expecting to hate it.

I was pleasantly surprised.

Normally, I give a plot synopsis. And I will, but this movie has one moment too good to spoil. So I'll explain the base of the plot and that's it.

The movie begins with two sisters. Princesses. The older of the two, Elsa, is born with Ice Magic powers. They're incredibly strong, but also incredibly dangerous. Well, one day, her sister Anna and her are playing and she accidentally hits her with her powers, nearly killing her. To protect her and everyone else, their parrents take Anna to see some trolls that remove all her memories of her sister's ice magic. Elsa then spens the next dozen years of her life isolated, her sister forced to be alone in a big empty castle as a result, and their parents go away on a ship, never to return. Well, it's finally time for the princess to Queen it up (bitch) and they, for one day, open the gates to the castle. During the resulting party, Anna meets a prince from a neighboring kingdom, and the two fall madly in love. When Anna goes to get Elsa's blessing for their marriage however, they get in a big fight that results in Elsa's powers becoming known publicly. Elsa then runs away into the mountains to isolate herself, but accidentally freezes the entire nation. So it's up to Anna to go and get her to fix things. Along the way, Anna meets an Ice Merchant who's livelyhood is ruined by this whole situation, and the pair team up. Meanwhile, a douchebag from another nation thinks the only way to fix things is if Elsa is killed.

I'm stopping here because if I say anymore, the awesome plot twist becomes ruined.

I LOVE the plot twist in this movie. It's amazing. I had to pause the movie when that twist happened to stop and comprehend it. They give you just enough other things to think about where the twist is a total surprise.

Now, that's the plot. Let's talk characters. Elsa is in exactly the situation you'd expect. A girl forced to keep her ways inside for too long loses it once, then when the cat's out of the bag, lets loose once and loves it, but it goes a little too far. It's exactly what a person in her situation would be.

Anna, I don't like. I enjoy how she's a klutz. I enjoy how she's enthusiastic, but she's too happy and optimistic. I get wanting to go and save your sister, but you seemed too capible given the fact that you lived alone for years and years in a big old house that you almost never saw the doors open. I don't think you'd be handling snow that well.

Cristoph, I actually really like. He's modest, he gets annoyed, he's a realist, and he's just a little bit crazy from living alone most of his life. He's actually the perfect male supporting role in my opinion because he feels just real enough.

Olaf. fuck Olaf. He's unnecessary, he's unfunny, and he's only useful for one, count em, ONE scene. That snowman can melt in hell.

I won't talk about any other characters for risk of ruining that plot twist I love so much.

Let's talk comedy. This movie doesn't do it well. I found a few moments that were actually pretty funny, but the rest, not so much. Nothing Olaf does is funny even though he's the comic relief. The funniest moment is near the end when Anna punches a guy in the face.

Music, I can't stand it. Mostly because my boss keeps on playing Let it Go at work. The only song I really enjoy off this movie's soundtrack is Fixer Upper.

Anything else I need to say? Not really. I could talk about the lesson taught, but that would ruin the twist. So let's say this. This movie does it's job teaching it's lesson well enough. I actually can't argue with the main lesson that Disney teaches here.

Overall, I give this movie a 7/10. The main reason I say seven is because of a major cliche. This should have never happened because Elsa should have practiced using her power rather than practiced hiding it. If she had, then she'd have never lost it, and it wouldn't have been a big deal. But that's cliche for you. Meh. All in all, I'm actually delightfully surprised. Would I watch it again? Probably not. but for two bucks, I can't argue. I'll be returning it promptly tomorrow.
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Must...resist...creepy urges... too many witnesses... would look weird...

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